Archive for the 'Mitt Romney' Category

(Cross posted at The November Blog)

I pray to the Gods of Comedy that this is true: Mitt Romney might jump back into the race for president!

Josh Romney, one of former Gov. Mitt Romney’s five sons, says it’s “possible” his father may rejoin the race for the White House, as a vice presidential candidate or as the Republican Party’s standard-bearer if the campaign of Sen. John McCain falters.

First of all, I think it would be awesome for Mitt Romney to let the dogs back out, and jump back in the race, simply because it would bring back some of the hilarity that has been missing from this campaign ever since Mittens dropped out.

Secondly, I’m not sure if Josh Romney realizes this, but in order for his dad to get back in the race “as a vice presidential candidate,” the presidential candidate, John McCain, who straight up hates Mitt Romney, would not only have to be ok with it, he would pretty much have to ask Mitt to do it.

It doesn’t sound like Josh Romney understands that basic rules of politics. But that won’t stop him from potentially running for Congress!

That’s right, Josh Romney for Congress, baby! Oh man, I can’t wait. Does he have 5 20-30 year old sons who could pretend to write unintentionally hilarious blog posts for his campaign?

No, he has 3 young kids, aged 5, 3 and 1. But hey, in the fakest family in America, I wouldn’t put it past them to set these little tykes up with some laptops!

Shorter Mitt Romney

Posted by Matt Browner Hamlin on February 7th, 2008

I challenge anyone to come up with a better “Shorter” version of Mitt Romney’s exit speech than TBogg:

Our country, our world, our culture, our existence face enormous threats. I quit.

Genius.

Yeah, pretty much.

Sometimes, as we boys need reminding, it takes a woman to inject some common sense into complicated decision-making like “Should I run for higher office?”

(Sometimes, not.)

Maybe the evidence is all circumstantial, but it’s there. First there’s the oft-cited story about Ann Romney not wanting all of Mitt’s money, so hard earned laying off every worker he could find, to go into the hands of the genius political consultants who came up with bright ideas like “Mitt should run against Massachusetts,” and “I’m withdrawing from this race because staying in it will aid and abet terrorists by electing a Democrat.”

The idea that Mrs. Romney was worried more about Mitt’s money than about his desire to win was brought up at the Daily Telegraph:

His wife Ann made him agree to keep to a personal limit of $40 million, which he exceeded by up to $10 million in the past week of the campaign.

“What was he going to do? Just carry on spending his sons’ inheritance,” said a member of the McCain campaign at the conference.

But I think there’s more to it than that. Our man Mitt seemed to be a little bit defensive about the prospect of fighting with his old lady before Super Tuesday. Check out this statement and immediate back-up from it when Romney discussed stretching out and sleeping on the floor of his airplane:

There are no flat-bed seats in Romney’s charter plane. He does enjoy a wide business class seat in the front row but he said he planned to spend the red-eye flight on the floor.

“It’s been a while since I slept on the floor,” he told reporters on the flight to California. “Usually if I’m in trouble I sleep on the sofa,” he said.

A father of five who frequently talks about family values, Romney quickly took back the suggestion that he gets in trouble with his wife, Ann.

“Actually I’ve not been in trouble to sleep on the sofa. But sometimes in the middle of the night if I wake up and can’t sleep, instead of bothering Ann by tossing and turning, I sleep on the sofa,” he said.

“Camping is probably the last time I slept on the ground,” he said, adding that was perhaps a decade ago. “It’s been a long time.”

You’ve got to hand it to him. Mitt sure was an acrobat everyday on the campaign trail.

But I think there was more evidence of some tension between the two. How about when Romney started out his concession speech on Tuesday night by saying that his wife was WRONG:

Ann came to me and she said, ‘You know, the one thing that’s clear tonight is that nothing’s clear.’ But I think she’s wrong. One thing that’s clear is this campaign’s going on. I think there are some people who thought it was all going to be done tonight. But it’s not all done tonight. We’re going to keep on battling. We’re going to go all the way to the convention. We’re going to win this thing, and we’re going to get to the White House.

I’m sure she loved that. “My wife doesn’t believe in me!” is what starting off a major speech like that screams out. Dr. Phil would not be pleased.

But ultimately, Mitt really is all about his family. Word is Mitt and Ann talked this over last night. And when he says, “I’m doing this because I love America,” he really may mean “I’m doing this because I love my wife” as much as he means, “I’m doing this because I love my money.”

And let’s face it - Mitt was never a very good candidate for the Republican nomination. Even if Anne Coulter was lining up Big Love-style to be his second wife, he had too much non-conservative baggage to be bought into by the real GOP crowd, and just about everyone on both sides saw him as a phoney.

What this campaign was really about for Romney was ego. That ego was evident when he declared on Tuesday, “That’s pretty fun. First time I’ve ever voted for myself for president.”

Ultimately, it seems like it took the Mrs. to put that ego away. She probably said to Mitt, “This election is making you into a dick, and I don’t like it when you’re being a dick.  I need you to drop out.”

And to that, we all can say, “Thank you, Ann, thank you.

I’m Freezing Without My Mittens!!

Posted by Noah Noah on February 7th, 2008

Brrrrrrrr. Why is it so cold in here?

Oh, it’s because Mittens has dropped out!

Man, as Wonkette says, “It’s a sad day for humor.”

Ol’ Freddie? Dead.

9iu11ani? Conceded to the terrorists.

And Mittens? Bought the farm. Or at least tried to.

Somehow, the idea of making fun of John McCain for the next 9 months just doesn’t strike my fancy.

Yikes, are we going to have to start talking about the issues now?

(Cross posted at The November Blog)

[Update]: Mittens will be back! In 2012! To run against President McClintobama! Mittens 2012! Mittens 2012! Tagg’s inheritance will be spent!!!!

Pop Quiz Time

Posted by David Dayen on February 6th, 2008

So Mitt Romney, who was embarrassed in California, a beaten third all over the Southwest and really only strong in states he had a house in, has decided to spend Tagg’s future kids’ college funds and stay in a futile quest for the GOP nomination. And the bureau chief at Pravda Online Hugh Hewitt decided to make an analogy to commemorate this bold (some would say ignorant) decision. Now what public figure from the recent past do you suppose Hewitt would use in said analogy to describe Romney’s choice?

I’ll give you ten seconds. Hum the “Match Game PM” theme to keep time.

….

Give up?

Like Reagan In ‘76, Romney Is Staying In

Congratulations! Hugh Hewitt, you’re the proud recipient of the Reagan Library’s “One Billion References to Reagan” Award! We’ll fly you and a guest first-class from Reagan National Airport to Simi Valley for a tour of the Reagan Library! That’s right, you’ll drive down the Ronald Reagan Freeway and onto Ronald Reagan Drive, where you’ll take in the Reagan Oval Office, the Reagan legacy, and the Reagan Reagan, a special of this prize package!! And we’ll give you a stack of Reagan dimes and a DVD copy of the CBS miniseries “The Reagans” for you to burn!! Reagan Reagan Reagan 9/11 Reagan!!!

Sheesh, if they could re-animate St. Ronnie’s corpse… he’d do better than Mitt Romney. And actually that’d make at least 3 corpses running on the GOP side this year.

Well, it was clear that Man-On-Dog sex obsessed former Senator Rick Santorum wasn’t a fan of John McCain, but I was thinking that a Huckabee endorsement (woof!) was more likely…

Surprisingly, Santorum (and please, check out the first link you get when you Google “Santorum“) today endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

Wow.

First it was strap the dog to the roof of the car.

Then it was who let the dogs out?

Now it’s man-on-dog love.

New campaign slogan: Mitt Romney Does America: Doggystyle.

(Cross posted at The November Blog)

It All Comes Down To Florida

Posted by David Dayen on January 29th, 2008

It’s about a 99% bet that the winner of the Republican nomination will be announced tonight in the Sunshine State. Even St. Rudy of the 9/11 admits this. Sure, the Super Duper Tuesday votes won’t yield a clean sweep; Mike Huckabee is trotting out a Southern strategy that has him leading in Tennessee. But given that No Republican candidate is on the air with ads in any Super Tuesday state, the free media boost out of Florida for Mitt Romney or John McCain will be extremely important, especially for McCain, who soaks up the media love like no other candidate. That’s why it’s been so acrimonious; both sides know that Florida is really the end of the road for this race. So Romney and McCain lob charges of “You’re the liberal! No, you’re the liberal!” at each other, trying to appeal to conservatives in this closed primary.

Mr. Romney, former governor of Massachusetts, began attacking at dawn, accusing Mr. McCain of allying himself with liberal Democrats in the Senate and betraying conservative principles on legislation involving immigration, the environment and campaign finance.

“If you want that kind of a liberal Democratic course as president, then you can vote for him,” Mr. Romney said at a Texaco gas station in West Palm Beach at 6:30 a.m. “But those three pieces of legislation, those aren’t conservative. Those aren’t Republican.”Mr. McCain volleyed back by describing Mr. Romney as a serial flip-flopper who had taken multiple positions on a variety of issues, including gay rights, global warming and immigration. “People, just look at his record as governor,” Mr. McCain said at a shipyard in Jacksonville. “He has been entirely consistent. He has consistently taken two sides of every major issue, sometimes more than two.”

Josh Marshall comments on how close the polls have been, and the winner is really up in the air. But with what’s on the line being so clear, Florida voters aren’t likely to throw away their vote. Expect moderates to move to McCain, and conservatives to line up with Romney, and the result will reveal itself in which faction has those numbers.

UPDATE: I don’t know how else you can read this robocall:

“Mitt Romney thinks he can fool us. He supported abortion on demand, even allowed a law mandating taxpayer-funding for abortion. He says he changed his mind, but he still hasn’t changed the law. He told gay organizers in Massachusetts he would be a stronger advocate for special rights than even Ted Kennedy. Now, it’s something different.

Look, McCain knows what he’s doing. He saw how dirty attacks propelled George W. Bush to victory in South Carolina in 2000, and he’s following that path.

Somehow You Knew Romney Would Get To This

Posted by David Dayen on January 28th, 2008

Mitt Romney went into his oppo research bag of tricks and found this obvious nugget:

Republican Mitt Romney took aim at John McCain Monday over reports he once considered signing on to John Kerry’s presidential ticket, the latest effort by the Massachusetts Republican to paint his chief rival as an inconsistent and unpredictable conservative.

“I do recall a story that he was thinking about being John Kerry’s running mate — he gave that some thought,” Romney said at an early-morning rally in West Palm Beach. “Had someone asked me that question, there would not have been a nanosecond of thought about it — It would’ve been an immediate laugh. And of course, if someone asked him if he would consider me as a running mate, he would have also laughed immediately.”

“So, we are different,” Romney continued. “I’m conservative.”

I know that everything St. McCain has done immediately goes down the media memory hole, but in 2001 he was openly talking about leaving the Republican Party, and in 2004 McCain actually approached Kerry about joining the ticket as the Vice Presidential nominee.

Romney is obviously pulling out all the stops, because in recent days McCain has regained momentum in Florida, due in part to endorsements from Senator Mel Martinez and the popular governor Charlie Crist. But it is a closed Republican primary, and this re-hash of McCain’s past flirtations with the Democratic Party can be combined with this column alleging that McCain would never nominate an open partisan like Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court to confirm the suspicions many Republicans have about the Arizona Senator.

Fund wrote that “Mr. McCain has told conservatives he would be happy to appoint the likes of Chief Justice John Roberts to the Supreme Court. But he indicated he might draw the line on a Samuel Alito, because ‘he wore his conservatism on his sleeve.’”

Commenters at conservative blogs such as the The Corner on National Review Online have been churning all morning:

McCain has got to explain himself to conservatives now, on Alito for sure, and on much else as well. While I’m unquestionably concerned about what a McCain nomination might mean for the Republican coalition, I’m not one of those who feels it would necessarily be disastrous. On the contrary, I can see scenarios where McCain and conservatives could patch things up rather well. But this Alito thing is serious. It bugs me, and I need to know more, quickly. McCain needs to forthrightly address conservatives concerns on this and other issues, and he needs to do it before Super Tuesday.

It seems to me that this all is coming a bit late. The winner in Florida is going to absolutely have a leg up going into Super Tuesday, and the time for Romney to stop McCain’s momentum was a few days earlier.

Guess What? McCain’s a Liar.

Posted by David Dayen on January 28th, 2008

Turns out St. John of the Straight Talk, the maverick from Arizona who will never compromise his ideals, is a politician.

Senator John McCain stepped up his attacks on his Republican rival Mitt Romney on Saturday, accusing him of once wanting to withdraw from Iraq and likening him to Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton in his approach to the conflict.

In response, Mr. Romney lashed back, saying Mr. McCain was being “dishonest,” and demanded that he apologize.

Mr. McCain’s comments marked the second straight day of going on the offensive against Mr. Romney, and they came as polls showed the two men locked in a tight race in Florida, where the Republican primary will be held Tuesday. […]

“If we surrender and wave a white flag like Senator Clinton wants to do and withdraw as Governor Romney wanted to do, then there will be chaos,” Mr. McCain said to reporters in Fort Myers on Saturday morning.

At a town-hall-style meeting later in Sun City Center, a retirement community, Mr. McCain reiterated his accusation. “My friends, I was there — he said he wanted a timetable for withdrawal,” Mr. McCain said.

Romney has wanted a lot of contrary things, and has taken a lot of contrary positions, but he has never, ever, wanted a timetable for withdrawal.

I’m also wondering how the myth of “straight talk” squares with the farcical old man peddling a secret plan to capture bin Laden.

So Washington Wire was wondering, what does McCain know that President Bush and the Pentagon don’t about how to sweep up America’s most elusive enemy.

“One thing I will not do is telegraph my punches. Osama bin Laden will be the last to know,” he said today while riding on the back of his bus between Florida events. In other words: he’s not telling. Why not share his strategy with the current occupant of the White House? “Because I have my own ideas and it would require implementation of certain policies and procedures that only as the president of the United States can be taken.”

That response, of course, echoes Richard Nixon’s campaign promise in 1968 to stop the Vietnam War. Nixon also declined to say what his plan was. America’s involvement in the Vietnam war continued until 1973.

So, to recap: when McCain’s talking straight, he warns that there will be other wars (especially if he has anything to do with it). When he’s saying practically anything else, he’s not talking straight.

Senor Romney

Posted by Noah Noah on January 28th, 2008

So far while in Florida, Mitt Romney has pandered to black folks and Jews.

You knew the Cubans were next right?

I believe the garment Senor Romney is wearing is a guayabera.

Is there anybody Senor Romney won’t pander to?

(Cross posted at The November Blog)

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